My Failure Is Not the Same as Yours.
Failure? Failure is relative. What I perceive as failure may seem like a success to you or someone else. We all assume that failure is absolute. But in reality, it is not. Our perception of failure correlates heavily with our personal goals and expectations. Failure isn’t concrete nor is it universal.
Throughout the rest of this story, I will refer to this concept of failure as “relative failure”.
People think that if someone succeeds by their standards, that someone will definitely feel content with that they’ve achieved. But most of the time, we forget to consider what their parameters of failure are, hence we assume.
Relative failure happens because of preexisting expectations of success. When someone has a firm understanding of their abilities and what they could achieve with said abilities, failing to reach the bar that they’ve unconsciously set will break them.
The margin of failure doesn’t matter. For example, it doesn’t matter whether they’re 1 point short of their goal or 250 point short. If they fail, they fail. It’s either whopping success or pathetic failure, there is nothing in between.
Is it okay to experience relative failure?
It totally is.
No one has to lie to themselves only to please other people’s feelings. If you feel like you’ve failed, swallow the pill and accept that failure. It’s okay to feel like you haven’t achieved enough, it’s okay to not feel satisfied.
The higher the determination, the higher the bar for satisfaction will be.
You shouldn’t guilt-trip other people for feeling like they relatively failed by their standards. Give them time to heal and let them calibrate with the reality they are faced with.
Don’t force them to settle with their results, as long as they stay within boundaries, let them pursue their goals and dreams. Would you like it if someone held you back from feeling better about yourself?
Now, what should you do if you experience relative failure?
You have two options, either you take time to get comfortable with the results you are given OR you keep pursuing other goals that are able to compensate for your failure and will give you satisfaction.
Regardless, you should always be thankful for what you’ve been given after chasing anything to the fullest. Count your blessings, not your failures.